Back in the olden days – when dirt was new, and fundraising was my daily grind – I knew how to hustle. I could inspire passion, paint visions, and convince nearly anyone that their dollars could make a difference. But there was one word I never used: No.
“No” was a response I received, not one I gave.
You need a sponsor for a gala in a week? I’m on it.
A major donor wants a Saturday site visit? I’ll bring homemade cookies.
You’d like a 20-page grant proposal written in a week? Of course.
That kind of relentless yes-ing got results. But it also got me something else: Burnout.
Burnout: The Price of Never Saying No
Here’s the truth they don’t always teach you in the nonprofit hustle (or in any high-stakes, high-purpose work):
Saying yes to everything means you’re saying no to yourself.
Every yes to someone else was a no to myself:
- No to rest.
- No to time with loved ones.
- No to strategy over survival.
- No to the energy I needed to lead with vision instead of reactivity.
- No to working smarter instead of harder.
- No to the boundaries that protect my time, my health, and my sense of purpose.
I was exhausted, overcommitted, and slowly losing the passion that had fueled my work in the first place. Not because I didn’t love it, but because I couldn’t sustain it.
That’s when I realized the key to avoiding burnout wasn’t more stamina; it was more boundaries. And it started with learning to say no.
When we avoid the word “no,” we overextend, overperform, and ultimately overheat. Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign that your calendar has become your boss, and your energy is running on fumes.
No As A Tool for Sustainability
Enter Adam Grant, the organizational psychologist who brilliantly reframed “no” for me. He talked about the power of saying “no” not as rejection, but as protection. He says, “Saying no is sometimes the most generous thing you can do.”
It’s generous because it’s honest. It tells the truth about what you have capacity for, what truly matters, and what you’re willing to give your best energy to. It honors your time, your energy, and your integrity. It makes space for real yeses – the kind that are aligned, intentional, and impactful.
I needed that advice when I was knee-deep in donor meetings and event planning. And I needed it when I started coaching leaders, building strategies, and helping mission-driven folks create space for what really matters. I needed it to remember you can’t serve from an empty cup.
Enter Moe: The Magic of Saying No
Over time, I found that saying “no” wasn’t about being less generous; it was about being more powerful. I started thinking of NO as the gateway to MOE:
- Momentum: Every no clears the path for a more aligned yes.
- Ownership: Boundaries allow you to own your time, your energy, and your purpose.
- Energy: The right no protects your energy for the work and relationships that matter most.
MOE became my internal compass – a reminder that clarity, not people-pleasing, was the path to true contribution.
No became my boundary. MOE became my flow.
Boundaries Are Not Barriers – They’re Bridges
We often avoid boundaries because we think they’ll disappoint others. But in truth, boundaries build trust. They model clarity, respect, and sustainability. They protect your capacity to say real yeses – ones that are aligned, energizing, and impactful.
When we say no with intention, we’re not rejecting people, we’re respecting them. We’re modeling what it looks like to live in alignment. We’re making room for creativity, rest, vision, and values.
If burnout is creeping in, don’t ask what you need to add. Ask what you need to stop.
Start with a small, honest no.
A kind, clear no.
A values-based no.
Now I know: No is where the real magic begins. Are you ready to end the burnout? Let’s talk.
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