I’ve been reflecting on love and fear – two powerful forces, perhaps even two sides of the same coin.
Is it possible that all emotions stem from either love or fear?
Take a moment to think about what love feels like. Maybe it’s a warm, fuzzy glow, a rush of joy, a surge of connection. When someone says, “I love you,” how does that resonate within you? What about the feeling of a long hug from a loved one, a thoughtful text from a friend, recognition from a mentor, or simply the realization that you are part of a community that shows up for each other? Love can feel expansive and uplifting, providing a sense of belonging and shared truth.
Now take a moment to think about fear. What does fear feel like in your body? Maybe it’s tension, a tightness in your chest, nerves, or anxiety. Perhaps you remember a time when fear took hold, whether you were stepping onto a stage to give a speech, starting a new job, leaving a company, or contemplating the unknowns of the future. Fear can feel constrictive and isolating, like standing on shaky ground.
Love expands; fear contracts.
Love connects; fear separates.
As we move through our experiences, let’s ask ourselves: What would it look like to choose love over fear in this moment?
When I think about women who voted for someone who could put their life or the lives of their daughters at risk, I’m outraged.
When I think about war and injustice and the death of innocents and what that might look like in the next administration, I am bereft.
When I think about mass deportation (as a parent of a foreign-born child), my blood runs cold.
When I think of my son-in-law, an Air Force Pilot stationed in the Pacific, who could be at risk protecting U.S. interests, these fears hit close to home.
All of these fears are real and deeply felt. But remember, we have a choice. In the midst of anger, sorrow, and worry, I can choose to return to love – not to deny these concerns, but to ground my response in compassion, resilience, and a commitment to act from my deepest values. Choosing love in the face of fear is not always easy, but it reminds us of our strength and our power to shape the future.
Now, when I think of love, I feel I cannot hate up close. I see mothers of all viewpoints who love their daughters, as fiercely as I do. I think about all those in my community who lost loved ones to violent crimes and injustice, and my heart is sick with grief. I think about the amazing immigration lawyers and my colleagues in the nonprofit sector who welcome refugees to the community. I think about the great ecumenical works of my neighbors who cared for my daughter and the families of other foreign-born children. My heart is at peace knowing my bonus son and U.S. soldiers everywhere are deeply committed to this country’s safety.
My heart aches, and my fears are real; I still choose love.
Neale Donald Walsh beautifully expresses this choice in his book, Conversations with God:
“[S]ingle free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thoughts there are: a thought of love or a thought of fear. Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals. Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends. Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the other. You have no choice about this, because there is nothing else from which to choose. But you have free choice about which of these to select.”
To all of you who hold the fabric of our community together, such as nonprofit leaders, fundraisers, board members, program officers, advocates, policymakers, and funders – thank you. As Mr. Rogers reminded us, “Look for the helpers.” You are the helpers, and may you seek your helpers, your sages, and your warriors along the way.
This is an invitation for us all to choose love over fear; to draw closer, to find common ground, to care deeply, to serve generously, and to love profoundly.
When fear inevitably creeps in, as it will:
Take a breath.
Remember what love feels like and make that choice. Ask yourself, “What is love calling me to do right now?” Perhaps it’s a call to stand up and fight, to challenge an old belief, to lean in with empathy, or maybe to pause and rest for renewal. Love can look like quiet conversations around a dinner table, listening to understand. Love can be feeding the hungry, sheltering the unhoused. Love might look like marching, testifying, lobbying – a call to action. And yes, love can also be resting your weary bones.
We have many challenges today. We will have them tomorrow too.
Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves.
If you want to share your thoughts or need someone to talk to, I’ll listen.