Last year I attended a coaching intensive with 10 extraordinary leaders from around the world. We visited a wolf sanctuary in the mountains of the Los Angeles National Forest called the Wolf Connection. There we spent hours experiencing and observing rescued wolves in their natural ecosystem.
I learned some amazing facts about wolves:
- Wolves are ALWAYS okay with who they are.
- Wolves step back from the pack when they need space.
- Wolves understand they are part of a greater ecosystem.
- When one wolf sings, they all sing in harmony.
These understandings can be applied to humans as well.
Be okay with who you are. There is a philosophy in coaching that says people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. Society, our parents, and our teachers tell us that to succeed we must strive and up-level our game, our business, our education, our toys, or our lifestyles. Ambition is everything. I’m not suggesting this is necessarily wrong, but it can be exhausting. What would it look like to simply level – to be okay with who you are in this moment, recognizing the amazing accomplishments that got you here, without the negativity bias that often rules our thoughts.
Challenge: Like wolves, can you be Ok with who you are, right now? Is there one thing you can be Ok with in this moment? Maybe it’s your parenting or caregiving, your health, or a relationship? Maybe you’re a great chef, or a solid team player.
Write it down: I AM OK WITH MY ________________________.
Step back from the pack to create space. Are you sprinting and achieving your way to the top, to the degree that burnout is your constant companion? What is this behavior fueled by: envy, comparison, competition, self-absorption, ego?
Challenge: Slow down and step back. Care for yourself, rest, observe, and listen to your “inner voice” telling you what you truly need. Self-care might involve a walk at lunch, a quiet time with your favorite book, or permission NOT to do work on a weekend or after 5pm. Maybe it’s the 3pm chocolate (speaking for a friend of course…) Take 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or the entire weekend. Gift this time to yourself. Commit to stepping back just for today, this week, or the weekend.
You are part of a greater ecosystem. We don’t get anywhere without the support/assistance of others, even if we try to go it alone. Have you stopped to consider all the people, experiences, and team members that empowered your accomplishments? Take a moment to recognize that you are part of a larger ecosystem where grace, love, generosity, compassion, and the good of the whole live in abundance. Look for it.
Identify your pack. Understand that we are part of a greater group.
Challenge: Who has empowered YOU? Write their name down and acknowledge them. Who offered you time, energy, ideas, and support when you needed it, or maybe didn’t even ask for it? Thank them for their contribution to your “One wild and precious life.” Send them a note or text of thanks.
If you forget, or if you struggle with this, reach out to your “pack.” They know you, see you, and they accept you. They will stand and sing with you through your sorrows, joys, and celebrations.
Sing with each other. Who in your ecosystem, your pack (or beyond), needs to be empowered or supported?
Challenge: Think of a person, or a group of people, who need YOU. Reach out, volunteer, mentor, and champion others. Who in your ecosystem, your pack (or beyond), needs to be empowered or supported? Who needs you to stand and or sing with them? It might be a person, a team, or even a group who are working their asses off to make a better life for themselves and their family, just like you. Sing when your people succeed. Sing when they fail. Sing with your pack. The good stuff happens when we help others to:
- Be okay with who they are.
- Understand they are part of a greater ecosystem.
- Step back from the pack, and the “rat race” when they need space.
- Sing in harmony with each other.